Leaving With A Bang
by rising of the darkness
Summary: Hermione and Voldemort share a very interesting conversation before she dies...or does she?...i know summary sucks...but check out the story'please


**_Hi guys…..so here's the deal…..you will read this story and you will like it_**

**_Or else I'll crucio you….muhahahaha_**

**_I am not the AMAZING J. K. ROWLING…..so I don't own Harry Potter or any of these characters (sobs)_**

**(This is the scene Malfoy Manor…after Hermione was tortured by Bellatrix….bla bla bla…..then they were rescued by Dobby….but here somebody gets left behind…accidentally)**

Harry and Ron took hold of Dobby's hand while Harry carried Griphook the goblin in the other hand and Ron holding a very unconscious Hermione. As they disapparated away, Harry saw a blur of images happening in front of him. Bellatrix charging towards them trying to catch them, the Malfoy couple standing where they were unable to decide what to do, Draco standing in a corner with a relived expression (yes readers…in my story he is a good guy….and an active spy 4 the order…like it, be happy…..if not then deal with it), the snatchers laying on the floor, Voldemort entering the room with rage, Hermione slipping away from Ron's grip and landing on the floor. Harry did a double take..**_.HERMIONE SLIPPNG AWAY….LANDING ON THE FLOOR….VOLDEMORT IN THE ROOM!_**

Before Harry could do anything they were plunged out of there.

Hermione woke up with a bad headache. She groggily opened her eyes and found herself in an unknown room. As she slowly regained her eyesight, she observed the room carefully. This room was indeed unfamiliar to her. It was decorated very tastefully with antique furniture…a wooden desk in the corner…bookshelves, leather cover sofas, large oil paintings on the walls; the walls were emerald green in color, the floor was covered by a rich green carpet decorated with silver snakes, all the furniture were also green in color and made of ebony wood, the ceiling was white and had silver snakes painted on it. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well how Slytherin. These people clearly worship that git."

"I won't say worship, more like respectable family member and idol," a voice said from the desk.

_Crap. Could this day get any worse?_

She slowly turned her head towards the desk and surely there was the dark lord himself sitting in all his dark glory **_(jeez why am I being so corny today?)._**

She tried to move from her position. That when she realized she was bound by chains to a huge round piece of wood. She tried to move again but it only hurt her more. She tried to think of a solution to get out of this situation, but the more she thought about it, the more hopeless she felt. There was simply no way out…_HELL! She was held captive in the room with none other than VOLDEMORT HIMSELF. It was impossible for someone to get out with him on 'watch duty'._

Hermione sighed and gave up. "Well I guess this is the end for me", she mused aloud.

"It certainly is, dear mudblood".

"Well if I'm going then I might as well go with a bang," Hermione told him as she turned to face him.

"Go with a … '**Bang**'? what does that mean?" Voldemort was clearly confused.

"You don't know what that phrase means? You gotta be joking me. **The great Voldemort, the brightest student Hogwarts has ever seen doesn't even know the meaning of a simple phrase!** Well then let me "teach" you…oh how I am enjoying this…..i actually know something that you don't know…..huh…in your face."

"You know, although this foolish behavior of yours is quite "foolish", I'm gonna let you continue….but for now stop this little victory dance of yours and tell me the meaning."

"Okay okay , no need to get cranky…..jeez ,….it means to do something very remember worthy, something unexpected, something by which people will remember and muse about you, there …can I resume my victory dance now….?"

"So….you're planning to do something like that now…before I kill you?"

"Yeah….that's pretty much my intension."

Voldemort smirked. "And what such thing do you intend to do in your current position, may I ask."

Hermione pretended to think. "Well…..I thought maybe I…..wait, I wont tell you. You wont like my ideas."

"Come on, lets hear them. I would like to know what the 'brightest witch of her age' thinks she can do in the current position to leave a '**bang**'".

"Well my ideas consist you, and I am pretty much sure you wont agree with me.'

"Humor me."

"Okay, but you have to promise you will agree to at least one of them."

"Why should I?"

"Oh com on, please…pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase, please, please, please, please, **PLEASE.**"

"Okay alright I promise….just shut up already…..jeez [muttering under breath(_women_)]."

Hermione said nothing. She remained dead silent.

Voldemort waited a few moments. "Well?"

"What…you just told me to shut up".

"**OH WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WOMAN ….STOP PLAYING YOUR GAMES AND SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"**

Hermione was enjoying herself immensely. She made a mental note… _'a must do before you die….irritate Voldemort.'_

"Okay okay, relax …oh God! men and their short temper…as if Ron wasn't enough. Okay about my idea. I actually have 2"

"I figured that much, so …..they are?"

"Well one is this….. I can try to _seduce_ you…" Hermione paused and looked at him. Voldemort looked like somebody just emptied a bucket of ice cold water on his face. Hermione grinned inwardly to herself. This was just the reaction she was hoping for.

He clearly didn't expect her to say that and was surprised at her boldness. **_HELL! HE WAS VOLDEMORT…AND SHE WAS HARRY POTTER'S MUDBLOOD FRIEND_**. Not to mention their age difference. But her boldness intrigued him. He was on the urge to finalize this option when she started to speak again.

"Or we could try to have a conversation ….discussing about our likes and dislikes about each other."

Voldemort was again surprised. But he rearranged himself and said, " Lets start with the second one."

Hermione smirked. " '_Start_' with the second one….. I see you like both my options."

"Yes, I would like to see how much you _succeed_ in the first option. Now lets move on. I know you have a very big list of dislikes about me….start so that we can finish in time and I can kill you."

"Okay , we'll do it in turns. I'll say something about you then you say something about me. Well first of all…I hate your opinion and believe about muggleborns."

" Well , mudbloods are less that purebloods….that's the ultimate truth."

"Considering you yourself are a mudblood, and me the brightest witch of my age and intelligence at your level…I think that's a foul lie Slytherin tried to establish. Oh think what he would say when he found out in where the hell he is , most likely _hell_, that there is _**a mudblood in his family**_."

He frowned. Although he hated to admit it, she was almost right. Almost.

"My turn now," he said, " I hate you for the fact that you are a mudblood and Potter's friend."

"Fare enough. Well I hate your face….. I mean what's with the "**_snake themed_**" face? And where the bloody hell are your nose and ears? I mean how can you even hear or smell?"

"They went on a vacation to hell," he huffed. "I hate your hair ….what is it a birds nest or candy floss?"  
>"Huh….at least I still got my nose and ears. My turn now. I really hate this <em>royal highness<em> thing that goes on around you. I mean "**THE DARK LORD**" ..._seriously_?"

"Why, what's wrong with that?'

"No, noting….just the fact that we live in the 20th century now and things like that seem very out of time and **cheesy**. I mean seriously, every time a death eater comes to you he kneels down so low that some would even say they are sleeping on the floor…or fell down in slow motion…..and then the "**my lord**" thing. Then there are those brainless whimpering death eaters. UGH…..how do you even put up with this trolls. They are always like 'my lord this' … 'my lord that'….just thinking of them gives me a head ache. Seriously speaking you got the most **idiotic and corniest people in the world** as your followers."

"Well I'll have to agree with you to this. They really lack brains. I must say although you are an enemy, I really enjoyed this conversation with you as this is perhaps the most_ interesting and truthful_ conversation I had in a long time. Now this wish is done. Tell me how does it help to leave a '**bang'**?"

"Think about it…..how many people can say, specially mudbloods that they had a fun and decent conversation with Voldy?"

"_**Voldy**_?"

"I am gonna die now, so just gave you a little nickname before I die."

"_Very thoughtful of you,_ although I do remember you had another option for us to try?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You sure you're up for it, you do remember I am a _mudblood and a Gryffindor?"_

Voldemort smirked back. "Ah, but I am also a '_mudblood_' **and** a **_Slytherin_.** Besides you are the one who made the proposal." Having said that he waved his wand and the chains binding Hermione vanished.

Rubbing her knuckles Hermione turned towards him with an evil smile. "Lets just hope none of your bloody troll type death eaters doesn't come in right now.

As if on cue the door burst open and Bellatrix stormed in the room. She practically threw herself on the floor near Voldemort _**(****literally)**_. Hermione rolled her eyes and gave Voldemort a look whish clearly said _see, I told you so. _

"My lord," Bellatrix said in the _softest and earnest_ voice she could muster, hearing which only made Hermione want to gag. "Everyone is assembled for the meeting, we are humbly awiting your glorious presence among us."

Upon hearing this Hermione almost gagged. "Seriously that must be the corniest thing I've heard in my entire life. Honestly... "_your glorious presence"?_"

Voldemort had to admit that it really was very cheesy.

He was about to dismiss Bellatrix when she **shrieked** in her usual **_shrieking_** voice, "what are you doing still alive mudblood."

Hermione just looked at her in utmost ignorance. "How should I know? Ask your master."

Bellatrix turned to her master. "Master I thought you wanted to kill the mudbood. Is something wrong?"

Voldemort was at loss of words which only increased Hermione's amusement. Oh this is so much better then television.

"I…..well I …**.you dare question me Bellatrix! I will do what I want whenever I want…..who are you to question my work?"**

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. _Yeah sure, when you can't answer just pretend to be angry…..that will get you out of mess easily when you're the 'dark lord'._

Bellatrix was now whimpering at her master's feet while Voldemort continued to pretend to be angry with her and Hermione leaning against the desk casually observing the happenings in front of her.

Suddenly there was a loud** pop** in the room. Everyone turned to the source of the sound. Harry was holding Dobby's hand and was standing right in front of Hermione. He grabbed Hermione's hand. Then turning he face Voldemort and Bellatrix who, apparently were dumbstruck at his sudden appearance.

"Sorry, dropped someone last time we were leaving. Never mind us…we are leaving. Do carry on with your work". Having said that his grip tightened on Hermione's hand and they were out of there with a loud **pop**.

The last thing Voldemort saw was Hermione waving slyly at him. The loud popping noise snapped him out of his frozen pose and brought him back to reality. He was extremely angry. He kicked Bella out of his office(_readers when i say_ _**kicked out i literally mean kicked out**_), told her to cancel the meeting, slammed the door on her face and stormed back to his desk. He slumped in his chair. He could not believe what just happened. He reached out for his wand which he threw on the desk in his rage to destroy something. That's when he realized there was a small note addressed to him. He picked it up and read it.

"_Sorry we couldn't finish what we started. Maybe we can pick up where we left it and maybe even have another intellectual conversation the next time you try to kill me. Bye for now Voldy. "_

_- Hermione_

She also drew a winking eye at the end of the note.

Voldemort laughed out after reading the note **_(might I add….. what a terrible laugh he has….horrible…..just horrible). _**

Although the night did not go as he planned it would, it definitely turned out to be amusing.

The end.

**_Okay. I know this isn't a great story…well that's because I am not J.K. ROWLING…DUH._**

**_But please read the story…..and review…..even if it's only one word._**


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